Just so you all know this...I am writing this for myself. I am writing this to share the insights that I got from this conference and to share them with you. I'm not writing this to "tell" anyone how they should live their life. This is just what I am trying to do and will continue to do. I am far and I mean FAR from perfect! ha, ha! But I will tell you that as I have been doing these things in my own life, there has been transformation. Some of what I'm going to write about is stuff I learned from the Loving Your Kids on Purpose. Which "works" on adults too. :) And I'm really speaking about myself!
The first session of this conference was about honor. Creating a culture of honor. How does one do that? What does it look like? Why is it so hard to honor our husbands ALL the time?
Honor (according to the dictionary) means:
- To glory in, to promote
- To elevate another’s status
- To give prestige to somebody
- Great respect and admiration
Many of us have learned that we get what we want by enducing fear. Fear of punishment, fear of leaving, etc. If you do this, I'm going to leave you. If you do this, you will be grounded. This is not a healthy or biblical way of living. If you want to be treated a certain way by your spouse, if you want to be listened to by your children, honor them.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. Because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 (NIV)
What makes a dramatic impact in the world around us is Honor and Love. Jesus says the greatest commandment is love. Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor. When we truly love each other, we don't need rules.
You see I have a choice. I can be faithful to my husband or not. I am faithful to my husband because I love him and I want to honor him. I am faithful to my husband because I want to be. He's not forcing me to be faithful to him. I choose to help him with things because I love him. Even when I don't like what he does, I still need to choose to honor him and choose to love him. I know...you all were thinking he's perfect and always does the right thing. ha, ha!
My husband and I have a relational connection. We have a heart-to-heart connection. We know each other. We know each other's hearts. He knows my deepest desires and I know his. He knows my deepest fears and I know his. This may seem surprising, but many couples don't share that. They don't communicate. They do not share intimacy. And I am not talking about sex. I am talking about so much more than that. What happens is that they have isolated themselves. They hide their fears and build walls around themselves.
When we isolate or insulate ourselves, we trap our fears inside. Living your life based on fear is not living in freedom. Jesus died so that we could have freedom. There is a deep calling to deep.
Love and fear are mortal enemies. They can not exist together. Remember the scripture I mentioned above. Perfect love casts out fear! When you love someone unconditionally and they KNOW you love them unconditionally, they have no fear of you. There's no reason not to honor each other. There's no reason to hide things from each other.
All things are permissible. You won’t be punished by God. Jesus died to cover ALL our sins, not just some. But not all things are going to work out for us. We will have to give an account for what we did with our freedom. I mean...why did got put the tree of knowledge in the middle of the garden after all? To give us the choice. Because I have choices – I show my love. – to my husband. I am free to do what I want. I choose to love him everyday. I choose to be faithful everyday.
Here's an example. How about the relationship between a horse and it's rider. Now, I'm no expert but I do know people that have horses. One usually sees the rider in a saddle for safety and there's usually a bridle with a bit to lead the horse. Right? It takes great trust for a rider to get on the horse bareback, wouldn't you say?
This video is so powerful!
That horse loves her and she loves that horse. Their relationship is one of respect, trust and honor!
HONOR is nothing less than 2 powerful people in a relationship working together to meet the needs of each other and the situation.
Jesus fufilled this scripture...
“A new government of love will be established…" Isa 16:5 The Message
It's never too late to build a culture of honor in your relationships!
Thanks for the awesome post! Very open, honest and thought provoking. It's very encouraging to read wise thoughts from other Christian women!
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